The Best Band Name Ever!

I freakin’ HATE coming up with band names! That is, when I’m in a band, which I’m not at the moment, enjoying the God-like control of virtual gigs in Second Life. A good band name can be cool and memorable, such as KISS…it almost seems like the name of a girl’s band until you hear [...]

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Ernie & Bert for Halloween?

I was informed last week that I would have plans on Halloween this year. TWO parties! Score! But now I need to think of a costume, something I haven’t done in years–and the years before that were variations on Mr No-Fashion-Sense, where I basically wore the most mismatched items in my closet. What to do [...]

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If Barbie Dolls Made Snot…

I was teaching a guitar lesson this morning and the kid came up with the most genius spin on a Barbie doll it could make him a millionaire before puberty.
And me rich too, since I was egging him on to elaborate, which begs the question of who is more disturbing, the kid who came up [...]

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Over Caffeinated Teacher + Students From Hell =

Hey, I’m thankful I’ve been able to pay a mortgage talking about guitar/being an overpaid babysitter, depending on the student. But for those of you who think my job is easy let me give you a hint of the downside…*
1. Freshly pubescent kids who haven’t realized the power of their (lack of) personal hygiene. We’re [...]

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Peeps vs. Fun Dip

I was practicing bad standup on the girlfriend last night*…celebrities with bunny ears. Name one, see the image in your head, laugh! Go ahead, clear your mind and try it.
Ready?
Barack Obama. I know…political cartoons already like to give him giant Dumbo ears, but bunny ears are better.
Tom Cruise. Think of the “You complete me.” speech [...]

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Cookie Crisp Cereal…It’s NOT Cookies!

My parents like to spread this rumor that I was hyperactive when I was a kid. Sometimes fireman buddies of my Dad’s like to confirm this with stories of my antics at inter-fire department softball games in the mid-70s*, but I think they were all in on the scheme to prove hyperactivity so my folks [...]

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The Usual Pork in Stimulus Bill

Not a blog that fits into my usual categories, but what the hey…it’s raining, I’m burning through another cold and ranting is fun!
Just reading this Michelle Malkin column–which I’ve also heard on KGO–about the latest stimulus bill containing an earmark* of 8 BILLION DOLLARS to build a high speed rail from Las Vegas to Los [...]

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Victoria’s Secret For Men?

Bob’s Secret? Victor’s Secret would be more obvious, but Bob is sort of an all-American name that you know represents guy stuff.
Then again, maybe Bob’s Secret is actually the ESPN store, all sports merchandise. Or Home Depot! Tools…oh, those sweet, sexy tools…
But who would work there? I ask this because I’ve never seen a guy [...]

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Hitting the slopes with Mr. T.

I might have a man crush on Mr. T.
(God, that sentence is going to haunt me for the rest of my life…)
What is it about this dude that cracks me up every time I see him? From playing a bad mofo in Rocky III to his awesome turn in a recent Snickers commercial, Senior T [...]

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Incredible Hulk vs. Danica Patrick vs. William Hung

(Not to worry, aspiring guitarists…more lessons are coming!)
Actually these three characters don’t vs. each other at all. I just had a bunch of silly, random questions during my holiday break. Questions I don’t expect an answer to, but I feel like they need to be asked anyway.
The Incredible Hulk. Bruce Banner is this skinny pencil [...]

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