Chewbacca goes to jury duty…

Looks like the folks at the Civic Center are making another attempt to get me into their long hallways. Last year they tried to get me in on Monday, July 3rd and I lucked out with a cancellation because of July 4th.

I wonder if they’ll make us watch that silly propaganda video that I had to watch last time about how we doing our civic duty, sitting in a waiting room for an hour, followed by an empty courtroom for another hour, hoping to get excused, followed by further hours on the case itself, should you get picked to serve. It’s like the video has a subliminal track that says, “Yes, we suck…but, but…you’re really doing a good thing here, wasting all this time for five bucks a day!”

I got this great idea teaching one of my students yesterday. I’m going to wear a Chewbacca costume to jury duty. The clerk’s going to take my registration mailer, do a double take and go, “YOU’RE Keith Moore??? You look like Chewbacca.” and I respond, “Ma’am, that was a movie. I have to serve my country like everyone else.”

(I do this in my own voice, by the way.)

The clerk looks even more surprised that a wookie can speak English (and why the hell can’t Chewie speak English? If he has a life debt to Han Solo he might as well make an effort to learn the language!), so she says, “You speak English???” And I sigh, “Of course I speak English! Hello? I was playing a part in a movie! I suppose you think The Force is real too and we play with our lightsabers behind The Cantina after work!”

The Cantina in Mill Valley, not Mos Eisley.

Then I get into the prospective jury pool, being interviewed by attorneys to see if I’m qualified to serve. This is where I bust out some wildly offensive remarks. Chew busting out the racist or homophobic rants, praising Ann Coulter as one of the great minds of our generation. I get excused, go home early. Score!

~ by keithmoore1 on May 23, 2008.